Our hero awoke on an empty galleon. He saw a presence on the ship’s deck. He tried to tap on the man’s shoulder, but he found his hand passed through him.
The ghost explained he was once the captain of this vessel. In his life he had committed himself to a life of adventure and constantly pursued treasure and virgins to plunder. However, he and his crew were scooped up by the giant when he had acquired a mighty thirst during a camping trip, sailed through the esophagus as our hero did, and without any words died trapped in the giant’s gut. His spirit however stayed on this earth, as he longed to see the vast blue sea again. Our hero despaired he too would die in the giant’s stomach.
On Pie Island, the mage and the minotaur made love several times, then made up their minds to defy the businesswoman and leave. They launched several fireballs at the giant’s stomach, to no avail.
His stomach inflamed, the giant found he could not produce stools as easily. He consulted his wife, who blamed his diet, and recommended a diet of leafy greens and legumes.
Considerable winds were produced in the giant, and the pirates rejoiced, setting sail. They picked up the mage and the minotaur on Pie Island, and promised to find the businesswoman and the soldier before they descended into the whirlpool of the rectum.
Our hero asked if they had seen an island made only of diamond. The pirate did not.
They fought many a tapeworm, from the giant’s fondness of undercooked pork. The worms wriggled and writhed, smashed through the ship’s planks, but our heroes valiantly repulsed them. The giant was pleased to no longer have chronic diarrhea.
They fought many a fluke, from the giant’s preference for sashimi. They clung to the ship’s sides, slowing it down, and had to be burned. The giant was pleased to be dispelled of his anemia, but not so pleased that he had no more excuses from joining his wife’s jog.
They encountered many giardia, from a turd the giant swallowed in college. The giardia got along well with the sperm, and the businesswoman, whom they found on Candy Rock, taught them viral marketing, so the giant had to live with his bloody stools.
On the Herring Strait they found the soldier. He was enduring the stench of the harpies, was cut into pieces between Scylla’s teeth, his testicles were crushed by the kraken, and thus he seemed to be having a good time. After parting with his friends, he relayed a brilliant white flash in the horizon he would see at night – the giant had swallowed a firefly, same camping trip – which could be the diamond ring.
They sailed to the diamond ring, which arose, pure, white, and shining, out of the horizon. To their greater surprise, they discovered a kingdom of normally-sized people living there, for the giant mistook their acropolis for a potato chip. These people would have been overly joyed to see guests, were they not mourning the upcoming sacrifice of their princess to a sea god. When they were informed the sea was a giant’s gut and their god but the giantess’s goldfish, they remained unconvinced and grieving.
The time of sacrifice drew near. The princess quivered in her iron-cold chains, bound to rocks. The seas churned, and the sea god emerged, devouring the princess in one gulp. Only, the princess was no princess, but the soldier, who limbed his way into the goldfish’s brain to pilot it.
The people of the kingdom rejoiced, and agreed to our hero’s plan to lash their kingdom, being the giantess’s ring, to the sea god and their fleet of sperm and giardia. They all descended into the rectum.
© 2025 Jay Lee