Before our hero could acquire the princess’s treasure, he had to attend to the mage’s needs.
She began relying on undead creatures for comfort. She had a pair of undead dogs, an undead maid to attend to her pets, and sought to reanimate her husband so she could have an undead son and daughter, after which she would take from herself the sensation of living. Beside risking their business relationship, the prosecutor relayed to our hero that undead pets were not allowed in the city.
The mountains nearby had volcanic vents that made for excellent saunas. Our hero and his valuable business partner, after many adventures, sojourned there.
The water scalded her skin, the masseuse was too rough, she broke a nail and she was on the rag. She was unable to get a good night’s sleep as she dreamt always the day her husband aspired for divorce. It did not help women paid great attention to her husband, if only because cow milk was a scarcity in the mountains.
A favorite recreation introduced to the saunas involved smothering the patrons in dung. Evidently this was a taste acquired in the former king’s palace. The smell from this pastime further did not improve the mage’s mood.
She hated life even more bitterly and only wished to return home to create unliving abominations.
The princess and her husband spent their honeymoon here, along with a large entourage of men. Their day-to-day activities consisted of sweating and foreign liquids, in the saunas and out of them. Though they invited our heroes, this did not improve the mage’s mood.
When our hero woke up the next morning, he found the mage had slain and reanimated the proprietor’s children and pretended they were her own. Unfortunately, their rotting flesh boiled in the saunas. Fortunately, the proprietress assumed they were boiling meat, and, as beef was also a scarcity in the mountains, made beef stew for the guests that day.
The princess’s husband, otherwise known as the phallus, formerly known as the eunuch, enjoyed approaching women other than his wife, cornering them, and spitting on them voluminously, covering their bodies. He enjoyed this with zeal, as he had little to no opportunity to do so in his prior life. The eggs in his spittle were the size of salamanders, slid up the woman’s womb, and came out as phallus children. This was becoming a bit much for everyone other than the princess, and our heroes intervened.
Our hero restrained the phallus by his phimosis, took a knife, entered his arm with the knife into the tip of the phallus, and with the mage’s knowledge of anatomy severed the vans deferens. This did not stop the phallus’s aggressive behavior, but this did prevent unwanted children.
From this ordeal the mage learned the value of life, and learned never to use her awesome powers to alter life, unless the requisite gold was given.
When the proprietors learned what was in the beef soup, they sought vengeance on our heroes. The businesswoman, unable to convince them to take compensation, partnered with the prosecutor to sue them on the grounds of libel and distress, punished them by removing their freedom, bought them, and sent them far away on cruel tasks so they would not bother our hero’s business any longer. This allowed the businesswoman to buy the spa as well; the partnership with our hero’s business allowed for better services, which pleased the customers.
© 2025 Jay Lee